try our authenticity challenge…

For each of the following situations choose which of the answers a, b or c is closest to what you actually did.

here is the first situation…

the last time you forgot to do something you promised to do

  1. I made an excuse
  2. I owned up
  3. I pretended I had done it

still thinking about the last time you forgot to do something you promised to do

ideally, what would you have done?

  1. made an excuse
  2. owned up
  3. pretended I had done it

here is the second situation…

the last time you were disappointed with your meal at a restaurant

  1. I didn’t do anything
  2. I got up and left
  3. I politely complained

still thinking about the last time you were disappointed with your meal at a restaurant

ideally, what would you have done?

  1. nothing
  2. got up and left
  3. politely complained

here is the third situation…

the last time your boss asked your opinion

  1. I said what they wanted to hear
  2. I told the truth
  3. I gave an answer in my own best interests

still thinking about the last time your boss asked your opinion

ideally, what would you have done?

  1. said what they wanted to hear
  2. told the truth
  3. gave an answer in my own best interests

here is the fourth situation…

the last time you needed help from a friend or relative

  1. I asked for help
  2. I kept it to myself
  3. I waited to be asked

still thinking about the last time you needed help from a friend or relative

ideally, what would you have done?

  1. asked for help
  2. kept it to myself
  3. waited to be asked

and the final situation…

the last time you were invited to an event, but didn’t really want to go

  1. I said I would not attend
  2. I went anyway
  3. I pretended I didn’t get the invitation

still thinking about the last time you were invited to an event, but didn’t really want to go

ideally, what would you have done?

  1. said I would not attend
  2. went anyway
  3. pretended I didn’t get the invitation

The quiz was designed to help you start thinking about how much you feel able to be yourself in everyday life.

your consistency score was  

You are good at resisting social pressures, so you may well be on the road to living an authentic life. You know how important it is to be yourself. Watch the video to learn more about authenticity…

The quiz was designed to help you start thinking about how much you feel able to be yourself in everyday life.

your consistency score was  

Do you sometimes feel under pressure to please others, or maybe you react too quickly without thinking about how you would like to behave? This book might be for you. Watch the video to learn more about authenticity…

Know yourself

Authentic people know themselves. They are able to listen to their inner voice and they can understand the complexities of their feelings. To be authentic, we need to be able to face up to the truth about ourselves, no matter how unpleasant we might find it.

In contrast, people who are alienated from themselves fail to go with their intuitions, they get confused about their emotions and make poor decisions for themselves, instead doing what they think will please others.

plus

Look deeply within yourself, to uncover your barriers to authenticity and to begin to dismantle them.

Own yourself

Your time is limited, so don’t waste it living someone else’s life. Don’t be trapped by dogma – which is living with the results of other people’s thinking. Don’t let the noise of others’ opinions drown out your own inner voice. And, most important, have the courage to follow your heart and intuition. They somehow already know what you truly want to become.
Steve Jobs, Founder of Apple

plus

Jon was a client who was angry with his parents, dissatisfied with his marriage, unhappy at work and, after weeks of telling me about how other people were to blame for the misfortunes in his life, he turned to me and said:

I am so tired of this. It’s all bullshit isn’t it? What I’ve been saying. It’s me isn’t it? I need to step up and take some responsibility.

Everything began to change for Jon after that. He no longer saw himself as the powerless victim but as someone who could begin to shape his own life.

Be yourself

Happiness is when what you think, what you say and what you do are in harmony.

Mohandas Gandhi

We are born to be ourselves. Authenticity is our natural state. However, balancing the process of realising one’s own needs while living together with others, and meeting the needs of those relationships, is not always straightforward.

equals
the authentic life
Stephen Joseph

Stephen Joseph
Positive psychologist, coach, and senior practitioner member of the British Psychological Society’s register of psychologists specialising in psychotherapy
www.profstephenjoseph.com

The hunger for authenticity guides us throughout our lives. People strive for joined-up living, where on the one hand what they say and do reflects what they think and feel, and on the other what they think and feel reflects who they are.

Stephen Joseph has pioneered developments in research into authenticity, drawing on the solid science of positive psychology to develop what has become one of the gold-standard tests for assessing authenticity. His and others’ findings reveal that when people are in relationships in which they feel accepted, understood and valued, they drop their defences. They naturally begin to examine themselves psychologically, accommodate new information and live more authentically. What’s more, the latest studies reveal that it is authenticity that leads to true happiness.

In Authentic, Stephen Joseph presents his fresh and inspiring perspective on the psychology of authenticity alongside practical advice and exercises for the reader. Drawing on the wisdom of existential philosophers, the insights and research of psychologists, and case studies from his own and others’ clinical experiences, he shows how authenticity is the foundation of human flourishing – as well as how the ideas relate to debates about the importance of happiness.

what people are saying…

At last, an inspiring book on the important topic of authenticity. Filled with case studies and great exercises, it will support you in your journey towards authenticity. I highly recommend the journey – and this book as your map.

Dr Itai Ivtzan, Senior Lecturer Positive Psychology Programme Leader: MAPP, UEL, London

In uncertain times, we need help to navigate back to our true selves. Stephen Joseph’s book acts as our compass.

Sian Williams, Award wining journalist and author of Rise. Surviving and Thriving after Trauma

This is a highly engaging book, in which Stephen Joseph demonstrates how being true to ourselves opens the door to flourishing in both a personal and professional sense. In a world where there is pressure to fit in and mask our true nature, it’s good to know that authenticity is so closely aligned with well-being and a meaningful life. The book makes a strong connection between humanistic psychology and present-day positive psychology and will be of particular interest to anyone who is in transition. Joseph’s message is ultimately a hopeful one – that there is so much more to be gained when we embrace who we truly are. I found myself engrossed in the book – it’s one of the best reads in a long time.

Miriam Akhtar MAPP, Positive Psychologist and author of Positive Psychology for Overcoming Depression and What is Post-traumatic Growth?

We were born like a great original and we should not live our life like a bad copy. This fascinating book by Stephen Joseph will help you to understand who you are and advise you on how to live an authentic life. This is a must-read for everybody who wants to live happy and successful life.

Jan Mühlfeit, Global Strategist, Ret. Chairman Europe, Microsoft Corporation

Too many people live their lives short of their full potential, ignoring that voice inside that tells them they could be happier, could achieve more, that they could be fulfilled. In Authentic, psychologist Stephen Joseph explains how everyone can discover their true self and transform their lives. Joseph combines the stories of real people with scientific research to create a clearly written and powerful tool that can help set readers on the path to a happier, more authentic life. A must-read for anyone who wants to heed the call of that voice inside but isn’t sure how or where to start.

Jim Rendon, Author of Upside: The New Science of Post-Traumatic Growth

order your copy now…